Use me

I have no idea what I am doing in life. My close friends, well, you know this to well. One thing that I know in my life for certain... I am returning to Hogar De Esperanza. I leave the states on 9/17./08. I am terrified and in wonder that God is setting this up.

The first night I spent in Peru, durring my devotional time God hit me with thoughts on returning to serve there for a time. I pushed it away for a little while assuming it was my own foolish thought. However, when I returned home I had an ache in my heart that I could not shake. I missed the children and I wanted to see God at work in Peru through all the activities and programs he has provided for them. I wanted to help.

Some people thought and still do think I am being foolish and should finish college first. When there is a fire you don't wait for it to pass.

College is great, I know the people I love want the best for me. Want more for me. I don't want to sit in an office. I want to get my hands dirty. Life really needs to be less about making money and more about running with God. I sometimes have a hard time hearing God's plans above my own. This time however, I asked for a sign. Sounds silly, I know. I never do this but God provides. Tickets to Peru have been running about 8-1,000. This afternoon I found a roundtrip for $368.- luck? There is no such thing.

I am scared to leave my family and loved ones. Distance and time are two of my fears and I am about to combine them. I have faith in God that this is his will for me and he will provide. I know there will be moments that I wonder what I have done, but there will also be moments when I can see our Lord's face in that of a child who yearns for love and has so much love to give.

Peru hear I come.

9/08-3/09

Peru trip

A few months ago NLCM and Church Public went on a missions trip to Hogar De Esperanza (aka Home of Hope) in Salvary, Peru. It was a trip that helped to change the way I view the world alot. We went for two weeks. While there, we fixed up and built a playground for the kids, the guys created a cover for the well so that allgie will not grow in it and pollute the water, and we harvested alfalfa.

I don't even know where to start or how to tell people what I felt on the trip. The things I thought about, experianced. Its hard to tell where to start because nothing can word it right. Its an experiance you just have to live.

The smile on an a child's face as you push them on a swing. Helping a boy learn new Spanish words.... when you cant speak a word of it yourself... ;-)

The little girl that puts her half broken neclace around your neck and says "so you don't forget me." Knowing you never will... never could. Having a terrible feeling of lonliness on the eight hour drive through poverty while on your way back to the plane headed for the states. Wanting to turn around and run back to the children.

Realizing that you have to go back and drop everything behind you. friends family work. Not understanding why, just praying you get the chance to...

I left my Heart in Peru.